As we just celebrated America’s 250th birthday, I found myself thinking about freedom. Not just the big, beautiful idea of it, but the everyday reality of it. We enjoy freedom of speech, but that freedom depends on people using their words with some measure of truth, courage and restraint. We enjoy freedom of religion, but…
My husband is a wild sleeper. And I don’t mean he occasionally rolls over with a dramatic sigh. I mean he talks. He moves. He swings his legs. He basically sleeps with the same level of animation and commentary he has when he is awake. It is, in a word, maddening. There are few things…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/pexels-gary-barnes-6248522-scaled.jpg13652048Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-06-21 11:00:002026-06-16 11:45:43How to Handle Pet Peeves in Marriage
On a recent podcast, Dr. Orna Guralnik, the psychoanalyst many viewers know simply as “Dr. Orna” from Showtime’s Couples Therapy, was asked what she has learned about love after years of sitting with couples. Earlier in her career, she said, she believed compatibility was one of the greatest predictors of success. Find the person who…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/pexels-raju-37320715-scaled.jpg13632048Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2026-06-07 11:00:002026-06-01 12:06:34The Gift of Loving Someone Different
There’s something about spring that invites us to shed what’s stale and breathe fresh air into our homes. And believe it or not… spring will be here this month! It’s the season to dust off forgotten corners, donate what no longer serves us, and stand back to admire the crispness of a clean slate. But…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/WP-Banner-scaled.jpg8962048Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2025-02-24 13:43:202025-02-24 13:43:23Spring Cleaning Your Relationships: Clearing Out Resentment, Guilt and Unspoken Expectations
It happens to the best of us—marriage becomes mundane over time. Even those of us who are trained and educated in relationships (yes, my hand is raised) can find ourselves treating our spouse like a business partner rather than a romantic, lifelong companion. Love songs never warn you about Tuesday nights at 8 p.m. when…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/pexels-juan-vargas-1955119-5655225.jpg364800Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2025-02-09 10:16:112025-02-03 10:22:53Marriage: How to Move Past the Mundane to Magical
Valentine’s Day, the annual celebration of love, is a day steeped in both history and tradition. Yet, like the best love stories, its origins are a little mysterious, a bit quirky, and undeniably charming. So, before we dive into how you and your loved one can celebrate in meaningful ways that don’t involve crowded restaurants…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Untitled-design-5.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2025-02-02 09:08:082025-02-19 12:16:25The Real Meaning of Valentine’s Day and How to Celebrate
Shame. It’s a small word, but it carries the weight of a wrecking ball. Unlike guilt, which says, I did something bad, shame whispers something far more sinister: I am bad. Left unchecked, shame can quietly sabotage our most precious relationships and leave us feeling trapped, isolated, and misunderstood, even around the holiday season. As…
This year was the first Thanksgiving my family celebrated without my grandmother. Shortly before Christmas of last year, she fell and broke her hip. As the story goes with many people in their late eighties who suffer a fall, she struggled to recover and ultimately passed away from her injuries four months later. However, being…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Untitled-design-6.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-12-08 11:25:232025-02-19 12:28:20How to Keep the Poison of Resentment Out of Your Marriage
Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, family, and pumpkin pie—but let’s not forget it’s also a time when differences can simmer hotter than the gravy on the stove. With loved ones gathering around the table, each bringing their unique perspectives, opinions, and life experiences, it’s no wonder that tensions can occasionally bubble up. However, the…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Untitled-design.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-11-24 10:55:402025-02-21 12:21:11Navigating Differences Around the Thanksgiving Table
My daily work involves researching and understanding more about relationships and the things that affect them the most. I’m constantly struck by the ways our early experiences ripple through our adult lives—particularly when it comes to love and how we commit to one another. A new study titled A Safe Haven Through Attachment sheds light…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Untitled-design-7.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-10-27 10:24:022025-02-19 12:34:57Finding a Safe Haven in Marriage: How Childhood Trauma Affects Intimacy
I’ll never forget the first time I heard a couple say they wanted to get married and had intended to for twenty years, but they didn’t know how. They loved each other, had two children together, and lived in the same house for over two decades, but getting married felt out of reach for them…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Untitled-design-4.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-08-18 12:18:002025-02-19 12:13:11What Are Marriage Deserts and Why Do They Matter?
A friend reached out to me last week and asked if I thought staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children involved was noble. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I asked if we could get together to discuss further. In short, my answer was “no.” I don’t think…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Untitled-design-2.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-07-07 12:10:002025-02-19 12:04:51Should I Stay In My Marriage or Leave to Make Myself Happy?
Conflict is necessary and unavoidable in relationships. In fact, many couples argue over not only topics and scenarios but the different ways in which they handle conflict. There are four major ways in which we respond to threats. These responses often present themselves during conflict: fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. The fight response is the…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-design.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-06-27 14:46:172025-02-19 11:55:12How to Turn Conflict into Connection
Caregiving is often viewed as a noble and selfless act, a testament to an immense strength of love and commitment. However, the emotional and physical toll it takes on romantic relationships is a reality many couples face in silence. Whether you’re a parent caring for young children, an adult child caring for elderly parents, or…
How often do you say “thank you” to your spouse or significant other? If this question makes you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or maybe even ask the counter-question, “For what!?,” you’re not alone. A recent 50-year study completed by The Gottman Institute found that the single most important phrase couples can use in their relationship is…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Untitled-design-18.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-06-12 14:01:102025-02-24 13:34:35The Number One Phrase Used in Successful Relationships
Have you ever felt like everything you say or do rubs your partner the wrong way? Here’s an example: You say, “We should go out to eat tonight and find some really good pasta.” Your significant other responds, “Right, because the pasta I cook for you at home is never good enough.” You’re left wondering…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-design-19.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-05-28 13:00:272025-02-24 13:45:25Is Your Relationship Stuck in the Negative Override Sentiment?
I just turned 33 years old. I married my husband when I was 23, which means we’re approaching our 10-year anniversary. My husband was 30 when we married, which means he’s approaching the big 4-0 in just a few short months. (If you know him, please remind him of this. He loves it.) I won’t…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-design-20.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-05-09 14:07:212025-02-24 13:51:44Marriage Is Dead… Or Is It? (Part 1)
In last week’s column, I suggested a different interpretation of the decline of marriage as an essential institution in our country. Recent studies from Pew Research and the National Council for Family Relations indicate that the majority of Americans still desire and revere marriage but are often leery of the long-term commitment it requires and…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Untitled-design-21.jpg7001600Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-05-09 13:41:512025-02-24 13:57:15Marriage Is Dead… Or Is It? (Part 2)
My husband and I just celebrated ten years of marriage. We were overwhelmed by support from friends and family. Messages poured in through social media and texts: “What an accomplishment!”, “A huge success!”, “A whole decade of life together under your belt!” While it felt good to look back over the years and note the…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Untitled-1-Recovered-2.png5851668Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-04-02 15:11:012024-04-02 15:11:05Marital Health vs Marital Length
Recent studies have shown that being married can make people happier compared to those who aren’t married. Economist Sam Peltzman’s latest research suggests that marriage is the key factor in determining happiness, with married individuals being 30% more likely to report being happy than unmarried individuals. Further studies indicate that married people tend to have…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/pexels-emma-bauso-2833389.jpg5691200Lauren Hallhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngLauren Hall2024-04-01 13:02:422024-04-01 13:02:47Is Marriage Beneficial To Happiness?
A Healthy Relationship Equals Freedom to Be Yourself
As we just celebrated America’s 250th birthday, I found myself thinking about freedom. Not just the big, beautiful idea of it, but the everyday reality of it. We enjoy freedom of speech, but that freedom depends on people using their words with some measure of truth, courage and restraint. We enjoy freedom of religion, but…
How to Handle Pet Peeves in Marriage
My husband is a wild sleeper. And I don’t mean he occasionally rolls over with a dramatic sigh. I mean he talks. He moves. He swings his legs. He basically sleeps with the same level of animation and commentary he has when he is awake. It is, in a word, maddening. There are few things…
The Gift of Loving Someone Different
On a recent podcast, Dr. Orna Guralnik, the psychoanalyst many viewers know simply as “Dr. Orna” from Showtime’s Couples Therapy, was asked what she has learned about love after years of sitting with couples. Earlier in her career, she said, she believed compatibility was one of the greatest predictors of success. Find the person who…
Spring Cleaning Your Relationships: Clearing Out Resentment, Guilt and Unspoken Expectations
There’s something about spring that invites us to shed what’s stale and breathe fresh air into our homes. And believe it or not… spring will be here this month! It’s the season to dust off forgotten corners, donate what no longer serves us, and stand back to admire the crispness of a clean slate. But…
Marriage: How to Move Past the Mundane to Magical
It happens to the best of us—marriage becomes mundane over time. Even those of us who are trained and educated in relationships (yes, my hand is raised) can find ourselves treating our spouse like a business partner rather than a romantic, lifelong companion. Love songs never warn you about Tuesday nights at 8 p.m. when…
The Real Meaning of Valentine’s Day and How to Celebrate
Valentine’s Day, the annual celebration of love, is a day steeped in both history and tradition. Yet, like the best love stories, its origins are a little mysterious, a bit quirky, and undeniably charming. So, before we dive into how you and your loved one can celebrate in meaningful ways that don’t involve crowded restaurants…
How Shame Harms Everything in Our Relationships
Shame. It’s a small word, but it carries the weight of a wrecking ball. Unlike guilt, which says, I did something bad, shame whispers something far more sinister: I am bad. Left unchecked, shame can quietly sabotage our most precious relationships and leave us feeling trapped, isolated, and misunderstood, even around the holiday season. As…
How to Keep the Poison of Resentment Out of Your Marriage
This year was the first Thanksgiving my family celebrated without my grandmother. Shortly before Christmas of last year, she fell and broke her hip. As the story goes with many people in their late eighties who suffer a fall, she struggled to recover and ultimately passed away from her injuries four months later. However, being…
Navigating Differences Around the Thanksgiving Table
Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, family, and pumpkin pie—but let’s not forget it’s also a time when differences can simmer hotter than the gravy on the stove. With loved ones gathering around the table, each bringing their unique perspectives, opinions, and life experiences, it’s no wonder that tensions can occasionally bubble up. However, the…
Finding a Safe Haven in Marriage: How Childhood Trauma Affects Intimacy
My daily work involves researching and understanding more about relationships and the things that affect them the most. I’m constantly struck by the ways our early experiences ripple through our adult lives—particularly when it comes to love and how we commit to one another. A new study titled A Safe Haven Through Attachment sheds light…
What Are Marriage Deserts and Why Do They Matter?
I’ll never forget the first time I heard a couple say they wanted to get married and had intended to for twenty years, but they didn’t know how. They loved each other, had two children together, and lived in the same house for over two decades, but getting married felt out of reach for them…
Should I Stay In My Marriage or Leave to Make Myself Happy?
A friend reached out to me last week and asked if I thought staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children involved was noble. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I asked if we could get together to discuss further. In short, my answer was “no.” I don’t think…
How to Turn Conflict into Connection
Conflict is necessary and unavoidable in relationships. In fact, many couples argue over not only topics and scenarios but the different ways in which they handle conflict. There are four major ways in which we respond to threats. These responses often present themselves during conflict: fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. The fight response is the…
How Caregiving Can Damage Romantic Relationships
Caregiving is often viewed as a noble and selfless act, a testament to an immense strength of love and commitment. However, the emotional and physical toll it takes on romantic relationships is a reality many couples face in silence. Whether you’re a parent caring for young children, an adult child caring for elderly parents, or…
The Number One Phrase Used in Successful Relationships
How often do you say “thank you” to your spouse or significant other? If this question makes you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or maybe even ask the counter-question, “For what!?,” you’re not alone. A recent 50-year study completed by The Gottman Institute found that the single most important phrase couples can use in their relationship is…
Is Your Relationship Stuck in the Negative Override Sentiment?
Have you ever felt like everything you say or do rubs your partner the wrong way? Here’s an example: You say, “We should go out to eat tonight and find some really good pasta.” Your significant other responds, “Right, because the pasta I cook for you at home is never good enough.” You’re left wondering…
Marriage Is Dead… Or Is It? (Part 1)
I just turned 33 years old. I married my husband when I was 23, which means we’re approaching our 10-year anniversary. My husband was 30 when we married, which means he’s approaching the big 4-0 in just a few short months. (If you know him, please remind him of this. He loves it.) I won’t…
Marriage Is Dead… Or Is It? (Part 2)
In last week’s column, I suggested a different interpretation of the decline of marriage as an essential institution in our country. Recent studies from Pew Research and the National Council for Family Relations indicate that the majority of Americans still desire and revere marriage but are often leery of the long-term commitment it requires and…
Marital Health vs Marital Length
My husband and I just celebrated ten years of marriage. We were overwhelmed by support from friends and family. Messages poured in through social media and texts: “What an accomplishment!”, “A huge success!”, “A whole decade of life together under your belt!” While it felt good to look back over the years and note the…
Is Marriage Beneficial To Happiness?
Recent studies have shown that being married can make people happier compared to those who aren’t married. Economist Sam Peltzman’s latest research suggests that marriage is the key factor in determining happiness, with married individuals being 30% more likely to report being happy than unmarried individuals. Further studies indicate that married people tend to have…