For me, it often happens in the evening (though not always). It feels like a sudden Visitor at your door who comes in unannounced and spreads an uncomfortable, heavy, warm, wet blanket over you, gradually but quickly covering your whole body, and I feel it mainly in my chest. As soon as I feel myself…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/man-kissing-left-cheek-of-smiling-woman-1667847-2.jpg13652048Chris Ownbyhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngChris Ownby2020-05-29 07:45:492022-05-19 11:15:25How To Help Your Spouse Deal With Anxiety
Doing these things as a couple can make it a little easier.
No matter how you slice it, the birth of a child brings about changes that can be challenging. Here are some of the reasons why marriage can be harder after having a baby and how those challenges can make your marriage stronger. Unspoken Expectations. You probably have a picture in your mind of what your…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/mother-kissing-her-daughter-3662849.jpg20481365Reggie Madisonhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngReggie Madison2020-05-29 07:38:252022-04-14 09:54:095 Reasons Why Marriage Can Be Harder After Having A Baby
There’s a lot that happens when a couple has their first baby… Sleepless nights. Endless, life-impacting decisions. The world being turned upside down. Re-creating a “new normal.” A constant fear of things going wrong. The steep learning curve for both parents. The list could go on, and on, and on. And I’ve heard it all……
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/photo-of-people-looking-on-child-3617872.jpg12382048Caroline Henryhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngCaroline Henry2020-05-26 16:18:402021-03-30 09:48:0810 Questions Couples Should Ask Each Other Before Having a Baby
It’s your dining room table, you and your spouse are having dinner. And it happens. You realize that you can’t think of anything else to say. It hits you — I’m bored with my spouse. How did this happen to us? We were the fun couple. Conversation was always easy for us. We enjoyed a…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/man-and-woman-sitting-on-stairs-3585817-1.jpg13672048Gena Ellishttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngGena Ellis2020-04-30 14:55:032021-06-15 15:39:38I’m Bored With My Spouse!
These 3 things that can help you argue less and connect more.
Marriage is two individuals doing life as a team. You and your spouse will always have some differing perspectives, needs, priorities, habits, and let’s say – idiosyncrasies – that make you both unique. This means ongoing work on communication skills, learning how to handle disagreements and conflict, and doing the intentional stuff that keeps you…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/man-and-woman-wearing-brown-leather-jackets-984950.jpg13672048John Daumhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2020-04-22 16:09:582022-05-18 14:21:49Help! My Spouse and I Can’t Stop Fighting!
My husband and I were having a conversation about navigating work, caring for family, grocery shopping and the like. In the midst of trying to figure it all out and all the “what ifs,” I kind of lost it. Actually, not kind of—I lost my cool. My husband just stared at me. It took a…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Communication-is-Key-AdobeStock_297884366-1.jpg9001400Julie Baumgardnerhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-03-27 08:49:002022-07-28 12:04:37How to Not Blow Up on Your Spouse When They’re Getting on Your Nerves
In the March issue of The Atlantic, David Brooks writes a provocative and compelling article about the nuclear family and how he thinks it was a huge mistake.
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/jessica-rockowitz-6c4Uhhe68yQ-unsplash-1-e1597073348782.jpg193450Julie Baumgardnerhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-02-24 00:00:002022-05-19 08:52:16Is the Nuclear Family a Problem?
It may not be the argument, but how you handle it, that matters.
Even after being married for 30 years, I vividly remember our first argument after we got married. It was intense and to be honest, it scared me. In my mind, I thought, “Wait, we are happy and we love each other, but happy couples don’t argue, do they?”I wish I knew then what I know now: Happy couples do argue.
What people are thinking about about marriage may surprise you. At the 2019 NARME Summit in Nashville, Dr. Scott Stanley shared what people are thinking about marriage using the latest marriage and cohabitation research. If you’ve heard that married couples have a 50% chance of eventually divorcing, did you know that this statistic pertains specifically…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/FTF_2019Website_Mockup-Image-019.jpg13652048Julie Baumgardnerhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2020-01-12 10:00:052021-08-17 11:54:06What People Are Thinking About Marriage
When asked, “What do couples fight about?” most people usually say money, sex, kids and in-laws straight out of the gates. In romantic relationships, couples can have all kinds of major and minor disagreements that impact the quality of their relationship. If you’re wondering what the research says about what couples are most likely to fight about, you’ll be interested in the results of a 2019 study by psychologists Guilherme Lopes, Todd Shakelford, David Buss and Mohaned Abed. They co…
Cheating. Pretty much universally denounced as the worst thing you could do in a relationship (maybe just a tiny bit behind murdering your partner). We can all agree that cheating is wrong and definitely nobody wants someone to cheat on them, but… “But what?” you ask. But let’s be honest, so much of the media…
You don’t give in to peer pressure, right? That was so Middle School! Surprisingly, adult you is still rather impressionable. Your chances of divorce just went up! A study from researchers at Brown University, UC-San Diego, and Yale University has found that having a divorced friend can increase your own risk of a breakup by…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/kelly-sikkema-E8H76nY1v6Q-unsplash-scaled.jpg20003000John Daumhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2019-12-04 15:14:592020-09-30 12:16:46My Friends Are Getting Divorced and It’s Affecting My Marriage
“Forgive and forget,” right? That’s what they say. But what happens when you can’t forget and you certainly aren’t ready to forgive? Have you ever felt like something was wrong with you because forgiveness didn’t come quickly, easily, or at all? You are definitely not alone and there is certainly nothing wrong with you. These…
“I have a dilemma.” An old co-worker mused as we headed back to the office after a quick lunch date, reconnecting after I had recently changed jobs. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” I asked, but the tone of his voice already raised a red flag in the form of my quickening pulse and intuition that his…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/christin-hume-610U5teI5B4-unsplash-2.jpg13652048First Things Firsthttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2019-11-18 12:47:052020-09-30 15:13:38Am I Having an Emotional Affair?
Will Counseling Work For Me? Will beekeeping? Homeopathic remedies? Fixing your own transmission? Doing the same thing over and over again work for you? I dunno. You are unique. Going to a professional counselor might not work for you, but there are some very compelling reasons to give it a try. The better question might…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/youssef-naddam-iJ2IG8ckCpA-unsplash-scaled.jpg24483264John Daumhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJohn Daum2019-11-13 16:12:362020-09-30 15:01:28Will Counseling Work For Me?
Tamara’s second child was six months old when her best friend invited her to read How Not to Hate Your Husband After You Have Kids by Jancee Dunn. “I was in the thick of raising two children. Both my husband and I worked full-time jobs and the biggest thing I was struggling with was feeling…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/couple-embracing-enjoying-enjoyment-2250589-scaled-e1597259788226.jpg300450Julie Baumgardnerhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngJulie Baumgardner2019-10-21 00:00:002022-04-04 10:44:06How Not to Hate Your Husband
We sat next to each other on the hotel bed, the awkward silence between us laden with guilt, fear, confusion and trepidation. Something had transpired on the drive to our weekend getaway with my husband’s family, who had come into town for our youngest daughter’s dedication. A celebration, a joyous occasion, marked by a colicky…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/laura-fuhrman-bl7kgLtzdOQ-unsplash.jpg13652048Tamara Slocumhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngTamara Slocum2019-10-16 09:33:262020-09-30 15:37:386 Ways a Husband Can Support His Wife Through Postpartum Depression
Buying a house is one of the most stressful things that you can go through as human beings. Especially if you’re newlyweds! Yes, it’s even more stressful than planning a wedding. Not only do you have to decide on a house together, but once you do that, there’s also a *TON* of legal jargon, paperwork, and timely…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/nathan-fertig-FBXuXp57eM0-unsplash.jpg13652048Caroline Henryhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngCaroline Henry2019-10-16 09:22:362021-12-21 10:25:47How to Buy Your First House Without Going Crazy
If you feel like something just isn’t right, know that you are not alone.
“Why are you crying?!? What do you need?!?” I pleaded with my baby to somehow answer me. But when she didn’t, my anger quickly morphed into full-on rage. I tried to calm her, every way I knew how, but with slightly more force than was necessary. I shushed her, I swaddled her, I held her…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/zach-lucero-fwjsBPbRm4g-unsplash.jpg13652048Tamara Slocumhttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngTamara Slocum2019-10-15 14:17:582022-04-06 09:24:34What They Don’t Tell You About Postpartum Depression
If you want to try to have a good relationship with them, this is for you.
In-laws are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. They might blow through boundaries. Your in-laws might meddle in your marriage. You might even be having a hard time living with your in-laws. Possibly, they’re totally toxic. This isn’t about any of those things. Sometimes, your in-laws are just difficult…
https://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/haley-phelps-twoahjAsoO4-unsplash.jpg13652048First Things Firsthttps://courses.firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.pngFirst Things First2019-10-09 11:49:332022-05-24 16:06:19What to Do When You Don’t Really Like Your In-Laws
How To Help Your Spouse Deal With Anxiety
For me, it often happens in the evening (though not always). It feels like a sudden Visitor at your door who comes in unannounced and spreads an uncomfortable, heavy, warm, wet blanket over you, gradually but quickly covering your whole body, and I feel it mainly in my chest. As soon as I feel myself…
5 Reasons Why Marriage Can Be Harder After Having A Baby
No matter how you slice it, the birth of a child brings about changes that can be challenging. Here are some of the reasons why marriage can be harder after having a baby and how those challenges can make your marriage stronger. Unspoken Expectations. You probably have a picture in your mind of what your…
10 Questions Couples Should Ask Each Other Before Having a Baby
There’s a lot that happens when a couple has their first baby… Sleepless nights. Endless, life-impacting decisions. The world being turned upside down. Re-creating a “new normal.” A constant fear of things going wrong. The steep learning curve for both parents. The list could go on, and on, and on. And I’ve heard it all……
I’m Bored With My Spouse!
It’s your dining room table, you and your spouse are having dinner. And it happens. You realize that you can’t think of anything else to say. It hits you — I’m bored with my spouse. How did this happen to us? We were the fun couple. Conversation was always easy for us. We enjoyed a…
Help! My Spouse and I Can’t Stop Fighting!
Marriage is two individuals doing life as a team. You and your spouse will always have some differing perspectives, needs, priorities, habits, and let’s say – idiosyncrasies – that make you both unique. This means ongoing work on communication skills, learning how to handle disagreements and conflict, and doing the intentional stuff that keeps you…
How to Not Blow Up on Your Spouse When They’re Getting on Your Nerves
My husband and I were having a conversation about navigating work, caring for family, grocery shopping and the like. In the midst of trying to figure it all out and all the “what ifs,” I kind of lost it. Actually, not kind of—I lost my cool. My husband just stared at me. It took a…
Is the Nuclear Family a Problem?
In the March issue of The Atlantic, David Brooks writes a provocative and compelling article about the nuclear family and how he thinks it was a huge mistake.
Do Happy Couples Argue?
Even after being married for 30 years, I vividly remember our first argument after we got married. It was intense and to be honest, it scared me. In my mind, I thought, “Wait, we are happy and we love each other, but happy couples don’t argue, do they?”I wish I knew then what I know now: Happy couples do argue.
What People Are Thinking About Marriage
What people are thinking about about marriage may surprise you. At the 2019 NARME Summit in Nashville, Dr. Scott Stanley shared what people are thinking about marriage using the latest marriage and cohabitation research. If you’ve heard that married couples have a 50% chance of eventually divorcing, did you know that this statistic pertains specifically…
Why Do Couples Fight?
When asked, “What do couples fight about?” most people usually say money, sex, kids and in-laws straight out of the gates. In romantic relationships, couples can have all kinds of major and minor disagreements that impact the quality of their relationship. If you’re wondering what the research says about what couples are most likely to fight about, you’ll be interested in the results of a 2019 study by psychologists Guilherme Lopes, Todd Shakelford, David Buss and Mohaned Abed. They co…
What Actually Counts As Cheating?
Cheating. Pretty much universally denounced as the worst thing you could do in a relationship (maybe just a tiny bit behind murdering your partner). We can all agree that cheating is wrong and definitely nobody wants someone to cheat on them, but… “But what?” you ask. But let’s be honest, so much of the media…
My Friends Are Getting Divorced and It’s Affecting My Marriage
You don’t give in to peer pressure, right? That was so Middle School! Surprisingly, adult you is still rather impressionable. Your chances of divorce just went up! A study from researchers at Brown University, UC-San Diego, and Yale University has found that having a divorced friend can increase your own risk of a breakup by…
I Can’t Forgive My Spouse
“Forgive and forget,” right? That’s what they say. But what happens when you can’t forget and you certainly aren’t ready to forgive? Have you ever felt like something was wrong with you because forgiveness didn’t come quickly, easily, or at all? You are definitely not alone and there is certainly nothing wrong with you. These…
Am I Having an Emotional Affair?
“I have a dilemma.” An old co-worker mused as we headed back to the office after a quick lunch date, reconnecting after I had recently changed jobs. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” I asked, but the tone of his voice already raised a red flag in the form of my quickening pulse and intuition that his…
Will Counseling Work For Me?
Will Counseling Work For Me? Will beekeeping? Homeopathic remedies? Fixing your own transmission? Doing the same thing over and over again work for you? I dunno. You are unique. Going to a professional counselor might not work for you, but there are some very compelling reasons to give it a try. The better question might…
How Not to Hate Your Husband
Tamara’s second child was six months old when her best friend invited her to read How Not to Hate Your Husband After You Have Kids by Jancee Dunn. “I was in the thick of raising two children. Both my husband and I worked full-time jobs and the biggest thing I was struggling with was feeling…
6 Ways a Husband Can Support His Wife Through Postpartum Depression
We sat next to each other on the hotel bed, the awkward silence between us laden with guilt, fear, confusion and trepidation. Something had transpired on the drive to our weekend getaway with my husband’s family, who had come into town for our youngest daughter’s dedication. A celebration, a joyous occasion, marked by a colicky…
How to Buy Your First House Without Going Crazy
Buying a house is one of the most stressful things that you can go through as human beings. Especially if you’re newlyweds! Yes, it’s even more stressful than planning a wedding. Not only do you have to decide on a house together, but once you do that, there’s also a *TON* of legal jargon, paperwork, and timely…
What They Don’t Tell You About Postpartum Depression
“Why are you crying?!? What do you need?!?” I pleaded with my baby to somehow answer me. But when she didn’t, my anger quickly morphed into full-on rage. I tried to calm her, every way I knew how, but with slightly more force than was necessary. I shushed her, I swaddled her, I held her…
What to Do When You Don’t Really Like Your In-Laws
In-laws are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. They might blow through boundaries. Your in-laws might meddle in your marriage. You might even be having a hard time living with your in-laws. Possibly, they’re totally toxic. This isn’t about any of those things. Sometimes, your in-laws are just difficult…
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