November 05, 2021
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7 ways to reduce your risk for divorce before marriage
Engaged couples spend endless amounts of time planning for their special day. In the excitement of wedding showers, choosing the flowers and the cake, and finding the perfect dress, some wonder if they can make it work. They donโt necessarily question their love for each other, although some actually do. Itโs more about wondering if they can reduce their risk for divorce.
Most scholars agree that couples marrying today face a substantial risk of divorce. Many couples, however, donโt realize that certain factors increase their risk.
Individual Characteristics Linked with Higher Rates of Divorce:
- Marrying at a young age (younger than 22)
- Getting less education
- Having parents who divorced or never married
- Being a more reactive personality to stress and emotion
- Having a prior marriage that ended
- Prior to marrying, having sex with or cohabiting with someone other than your mate
- Having a very low income or being in poverty
how to establish trust in marriage from the start
Whatโs the difference between a loving, warm marriage and one full of friction and conflict? Trust. There are probably many items on your checklist for having a strong marriage. If thereโs one that ought to be at the top of the list, itโs trust.
Here’s how you can establish trust from the start:
1. Trust is built over time.
Trust is built through moments that confirm for your spouse that you are who they think you are.
2. History matters.
You want your spouse to have a fair opportunity to be trusted and not be the victim of your past experiences with other people.
3. Believe your spouseโs actions.
Many people have trusted others in spite of all the evidence showing that they are not trustworthy.
4. Be open and honest about everything.
This includes the big stuff: family, money, in-laws, parenting, the future, and sex.
5. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Be willing to hold each other accountable for your words and actions.
6. Admit mistakes.
Donโt let pride get in the way. Trust will not stand if built on the premise of perfection.
7. Consider the effects decisions will have on your marriage.
Nearly everything you do will affect both you and your spouse.
Trust will grow if youโre consistent in your words and actions.
what we’re lovin’
This week’s picks come from Anna Reeves McCutcheon, an active participant in the Chattanooga Fellows Initiative, former FTF Intern, and now the Social Media Manager here at First Things First! Take a peek at her recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out ๐:
๐ Strong and Weak by Andy Crouch– A book that completely transformed the way I think about vulnerability in relationships.
๐ Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Muffin/Bread Mix– Just trust me on these. I like to make a homemade cream cheese icing to go with.
๐ 30 Romantic Fall Date Night Ideas For Couples (Or friends!)– Like me, you donโt even need a significant other to participate in these! Grab a friend or two and make a weekend out of embracing the goodness of fall with these activities.
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