MAY 06 | MOM, you deserve to be celebrated this weekend!🎉

May 06, 2022

tips & tricks for growth

managing expectations for mother’s day

Have you ever asked your spouse what they plan on doing for you on Mother’s Day? Raise your hand if they’ve replied:

Shoot… Is that THIS weekend?

Whatever you want to do, Babe.

Umm… nothing. You’re not my mom.

All wrong answers. That sinking feeling of being unappreciated, taken for granted and forgotten drowns out any last-minute plans they may try to scramble together. The damage has been done.

Your expectations to be thought of and celebrated have been shattered to dust. And if this isn’t the first, second, or third offense, you may even feel numb to it now. Disappointment is inevitable. No point in getting your hopes up, right?

Let’s break down some expectation barriers together so we can all win on Mother’s Day…

BARRIER #1: You expect your spouse to think and act like you.

It’s easy to believe that everyone (including your spouse) sees the world the way you do. This sets you up for some pretty unrealistic expectations and

disappointment. You want your spouse to magically know and do exactly what you would do (and probably are doing for your own mother).

BARRIER #2: You expect your spouse to read your mind.

Whether you’ve been together for 3 years or 30… your spouse cannot read your mind. We joke about this – but when was the last time you’ve thought or said, “You should know what I like! I’ve only told you 1 million times!”? Been there, said that way too often.

BARRIER #3: You expect your spouse to be perfect.

No matter how hard your spouse tries, they’ll never be perfect. Expecting perfection sets unrealistic standards that will make them believe they aren’t good enough. It’ll push them away, and you’ll end up experiencing the opposite of what you wanted to feel.

Telling them exactly how you’d feel loved and appreciated will set them up for success and set your expectations at a realistic level.

HERE’S HOW YOU CAN BREAK THROUGH THE BARRIERS

what we’re lovin’

This week’s picks come from Gena Ellis, wife to her college sweetheart, mother of 3 boys, and a Relationship Coach here at First Things First! Take a peek at her recommendations for this week because they are just THAT GOOD. Check ’em out 👀:

📗 Born a Crime for Young Readers– This book provides a framework for the importance of parents in providing experiences and exposure for their children which enhances their vision for their future. You can read the Young Readers version together.

📲 @hbcubuzz on Instagram– Many of my family members are proud alumni of HBCUs. This page provides real-time and historical information. During this time of year, it highlights the newly initiated members of the Divine 9 (Historically Black Greek Letter Organizations)

📘 Bamboozled by Jesus by Yvonne Orji– This book stresses the importance of allowing your children to find their own path, not the one you want to carefully construct for them. It also highlights the emotions and stresses children experience when they feel that they have disappointed their parents or they have not accomplished what their parents hoped their life would be.