Blog - First Things First

Make Holiday Memories, Not Misery

Navigating the in-law situation takes some skill.

Although it has been many years ago, Deanna Brann, clinical psychologist and author of Reluctantly Related: Secrets to Getting Along With Your Mother-in-Law or Daughter-in-Law, has no problem recalling "The Thanksgiving from Hell."It was the first Thanksgiving she and her husband spent with her son, new daughter-in-law and granddaughters. Although looking forward to seeing them, Deanna was quite uneasy. Her daughter-in-law was apprehensive, too.

Potential Boundary Issues

Consider talking about some things with your in-laws.

Before you take that walk down the aisle, sit down with each set of in-laws and talk about boundaries within your relationship.For example, when a couple considered purchasing a house close to his mother, the mother-in-law said, "I am OK with you living close to me, but you will call before you come to visit and I will do the same." That was one smart mother-in-law!Things To ConsiderIf your in-laws have a key to your home, how will they use that? Are you OK with them dropping in whenev…

Dealing with Difficult In-Laws

These strategies may help you out.

If you have in-laws who seem cross the line a lot, here are some constructive strategies for dealing with them.Don't assume they are intentionally trying to be difficult. In many instances, people think they are being helpful. They don't realize that dropping by unannounced or giving unsolicited marital or parenting advice is not appreciated. Get with your spouse and brainstorm things that your in-laws could do that would be helpful.